


All of My Goodness is Gone Now

by SunflowerSpideyy



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, FebuWhump2021, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control, Peter Parker Calls Tony Stark "Dad", Strangulation, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29144928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerSpideyy/pseuds/SunflowerSpideyy
Summary: Tony decides to conduct some tests on some Hydra tech, and gets some...unexpected results, causing him to turn on Peter.Febuwhump Day 1: Mind Control
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139171
Comments: 16
Kudos: 121





	All of My Goodness is Gone Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I've never felt good about my writing so I never really post anything I've done online, but I figured I should conquer my fear this year, so here we go! I'm still really new at this, so please go easy on me! 
> 
> Content Warning/ CW // For: Mentions of blood, a mild explosion, near strangulation, alcohol abuse, and potential (it's not explicitly stated, but it could happen depending on what you personally imagine happens after the end of the story) character death. 
> 
> Always feel free to leave a comment if I've missed something you would like me to mention at the start! (Also the content warnings make it seem darker than it actually is, I promise)

Bruce looked over to where Tony was standing at his lab table, a wary frown on his face.

"Are we uh- are we sure we wanna mess with that stuff? Need I remind you of the homicidal robot that we unleashed the last time we decided to 'dissect' hydra tech?" He said, and Tony gave him an unimpressed glare.

"Come on Brucie-bear, where's your sense of curiosity?"

"Oh I lost that a long time ago," Bruce muttered, frowning as Tony picked up a screwdriver to pry the pieces of gun barrel apart. "Tony- Tony, I really don't think we should-"

"That scepter was an infinity stone, this is straight man made tech, nothing to worry about," 

Bruce cringed as a piece of metal snapped off in Tony's hand. "I don't know-" 

"C'mon, think about it- if we know what they're working with we could get the jump on them. Find ways to neutralize their weapons, study their tech so we know what it can do, and mitigate danger to civilians. We have samples right here- we wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't take advantage of this,"

Bruce sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before lowering his gaze back to Tony ."Alright, alright- I've been around here for too long to think I can stop you, just be careful alright?"

"Aren’t I always?"

"Not your kind of careful, my kind, alright?" Bruce deadpanned.

"Yeah yeah," Tony brushed him off, making the scientist sigh.

"I'm going to go check on how Sam is recovering in the cradle, just call if you need me," Bruce frowned as the other man didn't even acknowledge him, his eyebrow creased as he stared intently at the glowing center of the weapon.

******

Tony wasn't sure how much time had passed, placing the glowing core on the center of the table before leaning against the back of his chair.

"Hey Fri, run some scans on this thing for me alright?" He asked, his back aching as he stretched.

"Will do boss,"

Tony closed his eyes for a moment, completely blind to how the device was glowing brighter and brighter.

He only opened them a second before it exploded.

The blast sent him rocketing backwards into the wall, pain radiating from the back of his head as he collapsed to the floor, landing hard on the tile. A choked scream escaped his lips as a burst of pain exploded from his temples, whiting out his vision. Tony tried to bring a hand up to press against his forehead, his heart skipping as he realized he couldn't move.

Almost as if he was having an out of body experience, Tony's arms moved of their own accord, pushing himself up off the floor and to a standing position. He felt his body turn, eyes scanning across the room as Tony frantically tried to get his limbs to obey him, the truth sending ice down his veins.

He wasn't in control.

"Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark- is everything alright? I heard this huge bang in the elevator," Peter's voice filled his ears, cutting through the white noise that filled his brain.

No, no please- not Peter- don’t touch him.

The young boy bounded through the doorway, and Tony got one last look at Peter's bright smile before everything faded to black.

******

"Woah, what happened in here?" Peter said, his eyes wide as he looked at the debris scattered across the room, and the sizable hole in the center of the stone slab that used to be the lab table.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Tony replied, brushing some ash off the front of his T-shirt as he sat down at the computer sitting on the adjacent table.

Peter cautiously approached the charred debris, eyes darting to Tony, expecting the man to shoo him away from the remnants any second. His eyes widened as they landed on a piece of metal sitting by one of the table legs.

"I think I know why it exploded Mr. Stark," he said, bending down to examine the circular metal ring.

"Hm?" The man replied, barely looking up from the screen.

"It's not exact but it sort of looks like the energy core Ned and I took to D.C. that exploded in the Washington Monument," Peter realized what he said a moment too late, his head snapping up, expecting to meet his mentor's furious gaze. He had been able to covertly dodge the topic of his D.C. rescue, and after he took the plane down Tony seemed to have forgotten about it altogether, so Peter never brought it up. But he didn't even react, face completely passive and his eyes never straying from the monitor.

Peter frowned, his eyebrows furrowed as he moved over to his workbench. His spidey-sense wasn't going off, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. He could barely get a paper cut without Tony gaining another grey hair- he'd never let the fact that Peter had messed with alien tech slide. 

"Is everything ok Mr. Stark?" He asked softly, his unease only deepening as the man gave a halfhearted nod instead of the warm reassurance he was used to. "I'm just uh- gonna work on my web-shooters ok? I think something got jammed on my last patrol," That drew Tony's eyes to him, narrow and unfriendly. Peter inwardly recoiled, something heavy settling in his stomach. "Uh, are you sure you're feeling alright?" He tried again, his eyes darting to the computer screen, the Spider-Man blueprints taking up the center of the screen. Tony seemed to snap out of his then, turning his attention back towards the computer and extending his hand out.

"Give 'em here, I'll see what I can do," he instructed, and Peter hesitated.

"I don't want to bother you, I'm sure I can figure it-"

"Peter," Tony insisted, an icy tone in his voice that he never, ever, used with Peter, and the teenager handed over the web-shooters instantly.

The pair fell into silence, the only sound in the room being the slight clinking of metal as Tony opened up the web-fluid compartment. 

"So, did you find what's wrong?" Peter tried after a moment, getting no response. He sighed, figuring Tony must've had a bad day, and bent over to reach his backpack, pulling out the Spanish homework that had been assigned that day. The silence pressed on, and Peter looked up at Tony, still seeing the Spider-Man blueprints suspended on the monitor. He smiled awkwardly, a hand moving to the back of his neck.

"You uh- have any new upgrades for the suit or something?" He gestured to the blueprints, and something shifted in Tony's face. Before Peter knew what was happening, Tony was putting the gauntlet watch over his hand and lifting it in the air.

Peter spun around, expecting to see something behind him, when he felt a burning pain explode at his side. A scream tore from his throat as he fell to the floor, eyes snapping to the blood seeping out of the wound, his shirt burned into an almost perfect circle around it. Another blast whizzed past his head, his spider sense jerking him out of the way at the last second. Peter's eyes swam around the room, his mind so disoriented it felt like he was moving in slow motion as he scrambled towards the lab door. Though his brain was screaming at him to run, Peter couldn't help himself from turning around for a split second- blood running cold at the soulless look in Tony's eyes as he lifted the gauntlet yet again. Peter dove around the doorframe, taking heaving breaths as he broke into a sprint down the hallway.

Somethings wrong, something has to be- this can't be Tony, it can't.

"Just get outside Peter, just get outside," he muttered to himself, breath stuttering as he could hear footsteps behind him.

The soft hum of electronics fell away as the hallway was plunged into complete darkness, the red emergency lights bathing the room in a dull glow a moment later. Peter skidded to a halt in front of the elevator, a frightened sob leaving his lips as he realized the outage had cut off his only exit. Tony's footsteps were getting louder as Peter scrambled towards the elevator doors, his fingers scraping at the metal as he tried desperately to find purchase to pull them open. The familiar high pitched whine echoed in his ears just as he was about to slip inside, his vision whiting out once more as pain radiated from the back of his left shoulder. Peter screamed as he fell forward into the elevator shaft, the doors slamming shut with a bang that left his ears ringing. Laying still for a moment, he took a steadying breath before getting to his feet, knowing the doors would only provide protection for so long. Ignoring the throbbing in his shoulder, he reached out for the wall, his hands sticking to the metal as he climbed. An ominous groan of bending metal sent a shiver down his spine, his gaze snapping down to meet the emotionless eyes of the Iron Man suit. Peter scrambled to climb higher, choking down the sobs threatening to burst forth.

The door was right there- he was so close.

The high pitched whine sounded again, and Peter jumped to the other side of the wall, narrowly avoiding the blast that left a crater in the metal. "Help! Somebody! Somebody please!" He begged, his voice ragged and panicked. He could barely get his fingers around the edge of the door before the thrusters sounded behind him, dropped down slightly as his spider-sense flared- the wall shaking as a metal hand created a dent in the space his head was moments ago. Pain shot up his arm as he tried to catch himself against the metal, and Peter's shoulder finally gave out, sending him careening towards the floor. The entire shaft vibrated as he hit the metal below, all his weight landing on his injured side, the echo making his broken scream sound ten times louder. 

Peter twisted around to see the Iron Man suit shooting down towards him, and he stumbled to his feet, feeling as if the room was spinning around him. His spider sense sent a jolt of adrenaline through his veins, as he leapt through the hole Tony had created in the door- just barely avoiding the man's grasp as he stumbled forward, somehow managing to stay on his feet as he sprinted down the hall. Peter’s knees almost gave out as he ducked under another repulsor shot that sent splinters of wood flying off the doorframe of the lab- the room being the only shelter he had left.

"F-Friday, Friday, do something- do something please," he pleaded, slamming the door shut and pulling the two remaining lab tables in front of it.

"I'm sorry Peter, I am locked out of all systems," she replied, and Peter couldn't tell if she truly sounded sad, or if it was his brain playing tricks on him.

Another explosion rocked the building, completely drowning out Peter’s terrified cry, blowing away the two tables he placed for protection like they weighed nothing. And once again he was staring into the glowing eyes of the suit, still scrambling backwards even though he knew it wouldn't do him any good.

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark please- I- I know this isn't you, please- you have to wake up," he begged as the repulsor fired up once again. Peter dodged to the side, landing near the remains of the tables. The broken pieces of the stone slab were scattered around him, and he froze, knowing he could very easily pick it up and hurl it at Tony- that the action might buy him some time.

But as Peter glanced over his shoulder, all he could think of was movie nights, Tony gently pulling a blanket over him as he was tucked into his mentor's side; the pride in Tony's eyes as he cheered from the auditorium seats during Decathlon meets; Tony carding his fingers through his hair as he sat in the med bay, gently guiding Peter’s head on his shoulder as Cho stitched up his wound.

And he couldn't do it.

The Iron Man suit stalked towards him slowly, and Peter let out a shaky breath, steeling himself for what he knew was going to come. Stars flashed across his vision as he rose shakily to his feet, body too tired to move anymore. Barely making an effort to dodge the next repulsor blast, the beam landed in the center of his abdomen, knocking him off his feet and sending him back down to the floor. Peter let out a wail, the pain burning hot even through the numbness of his body. 

"Mr. Stark," he choked out, tears running down his cheeks. "Wake up, wake up please,"

The suit stared down at him passively, and Peter's heart ached at the fear that ran down his veins. Tony was constantly the first at his side when he was hurt on a mission- refusing to leave no matter how much the team screamed at him- and after so many injuries, a part of him always knew there was always a possibility that he'd die looking up at Iron Man. But not like this- never like this.

The metal whirred softly as Tony bent down, his hand wrapping tightly around Peter's neck before lifting him in the air like a rag doll. All Peter could manage were a few halfhearted kicks, his hands coming up to weakly paw at Tony's grip.

"Please- please, you have to wake up- please Dad,"

The words slipped right out of his mouth, the product of one too many slip ups to May and Ned that his brain was useless to filter out now.

And for a moment Peter thought that did it. Tony stopped, his grip loosening ever so slightly as the faceplate retracted with a hiss. A spark of emotion passed through Tony's eyes, but it was gone as soon as it came, his gaze snapping back to a blank stare.

"Dad- Dad it's gonna be alright," Peter said, trying to muster up the energy to smile as the hand around his throat tightened by the second. "Don'- Don' blame yourself, 'k?" Tony's blank eyes still stared back at him, and Peter's hands fell weakly to his sides.

"It’s 'k- I-I forgive you," he was almost thankful that the stars had overtaken his vision, so he didn't have to look at Tony's cold eyes anymore. "I'v you," he used the last of his energy to force the garbled words out through the pain in his throat, and finally, everything went black.

******

Pain was all he could feel as Peter struggled into consciousness, wincing at the throbbing feeling emanating from his abdomen. A whimper escaped his lips, his throat aching at the small noise.

"Shhh, don't talk sweetie, you're ok Peter, you're ok," the soft voice was followed by a gentle hand in his hair, and Peter forced his eyes open to see May looking down at him, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Oh baby," she said softly, and darkness consumed Peter once again.

******

The next time Peter's eyes fluttered open, Bruce was standing at his bedside, eyes flickering between the teenager and the tablet in his hands.

Peter tried to open his mouth to speak, and the pain nearly took his breath away, causing him to wince and grab at his throat.

"Hey, hey Peter, it's ok bud, you're ok," Bruce said softly, gently moving Peter's hands back down to his sides. "Your throat is uh, still recovering, so just don't talk for now alright?"

There was movement toward his other side, and Peter turned his head, expecting Tony to be in his usual chair by the window. Instead it was Rhodey, staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Hey kiddo," he said softly, standing up to gently move Peter's curls out of his eyes. "Do you remember what happened?"

Peter slowly nodded his head and Rhodey closed his eyes, a flash of sadness coming across his face before disappearing a second later.

"Your healing factor's probably taking a lot out of you, yeah? How 'bout you just go back to sleep- May and I will stay right here after she finishes getting us some food ok?" Peter shook his head, reaching one hand out to grab at Rhodey's sleeve, gently pulling the man's arm closer to him. "What's up kiddo?" He asked, a concerned frown on his face.

Peter lightly tapped a pattern on the back of his hand, and it took a second for Rhodey to figure out what he was trying to do.

T.o.n.y.

Rhodey's expression deflated a little, and Peter could hear his own heartbeat speed up on the monitor.

"Nothing’s wrong- Tony's alright, he's just uh- he's a little upset about what happened to you," the man said, clearly choosing his words carefully.

N.o.t.H.i.s.F.a.u.l.t.

"I know kiddo, I know, it's just- Tony's never easy on himself,"

Peter nodded in agreement, letting the man's hand go, his body drained at even the small movement.

"Just rest up now alright Peter? I'll take care of Tony, I promise," At Rhodey's reassurance, Peter let his eyes slip closed once again.

******

Waking up was slightly easier the third time, the pain in his body had dulled to a quiet ache, but he still didn't chance using his voice anymore. The bed dipped slightly beneath him, and Peter looked over to see May sitting on the edge, a tired smile on her face.

"Hey baby," she said, gently running a hand through his hair that she knew always calmed him down. "You feeling any better? Bruce said that your healing's sped up a little,"

Peter nodded weakly, his eyes closing again, exhaustion still present with every movement.

"Oh sweetie, you're tired, I know," May said sympathetically, scratching lightly at his scalp. "I just need you to stay awake so Bruce can do some tests ok?"

The doctor came in a few moments later, the same tablet in his hands.

"Hey bud, how are you feeling?" Bruce asked, and Peter gave a weak shrug and a yawn, wincing at how even that caused a pain in his throat. "There was significant damage to your trachea and your larynx, your healing factor ensured there would be no permanent damage but I would recommend complete vocal rest until it entirely heals," Bruce looked down quickly to type something on the tablet, his eyes quickly scanning over the machines hooked up at Peter's bedside. "Your heart looks good..." He muttered almost to himself, and the teenager looked up at May in confusion.

If he had blinked he would’ve missed the way May’s face contorted with pain, before she quickly resumed carding her hands through her nephew's hair.

"Steve was the first one to find you sweetie, once he got there...well, Sam had to give you CPR down in the lab and-" May's voice cracked, needing to take a shaky inhale. "Sometimes when there's been extended pressure on your throat it can cause- uh cardiac arrest," May voice wobbled on the last words and Peter reached out, resting his hand over his Aunt's.

"I was a little unsure about the repulsor wounds, but thankfully there doesn't seem to be any long term tissue damage or organ failure- again, probably thanks to your healing factor honestly," Bruce powered off his tablet and gave him a gentle smile. "You just try to get some rest, alright? I gave you another dose of morphine, that should take care of most of the pain,"

Almost instantly the full ache in Peter's muscles faded away, and he let out a relieved breath.

He was out cold before he could even notice Tony still wasn't there.

******

The next time he awoke Rhodey was at his bedside once more, laptop balanced on his knee as his gaze flickered over to Peter every so often.

"Mornin' kiddo," he said with a small smile. "How're you feeling?"

Peter shook his hand side to side before shrugging, hoping that conveyed: 'a little better than before'.

"Let me just go tell Bruce you're up," Rhodey said, but Peter shook his head wildly, holding out his hand. The man sighed, letting Peter tap out the word he already knew was coming.

T.o.n.y.

"Look kiddo, Tony's still dealing with some stuff alright? He'd be here if he could,"

This was apparently the wrong thing to say as Peter's head snapped up, his eyes wide with fear.

"Hey hey hey, it's nothing like that alright? You know how Tony gets when things go wrong,"

I.s.H.e.M.a.d.

Rhodey scoffed, rolling his eyes lightly.

"God, you two are hopeless, you know that? No, he is not mad at you, Peter- what would he be mad at you for, you didn't even touch him,"

D.i.d.n.t.N.o.t.i.c.e.S.o.o.n.e.r.

"Oh kiddo," Rhodey said softly, sitting down at the edge of the bed and wrapping one arm around the teenager, pulling the boy close to his chest. "Tony doesn't blame you ok? Not one bit. It wasn't your fault,"

M.i.s.s.H.i.m.

"I know bud, I know," Rhodey sighed, holding the boy a little tighter, mindful of his injuries. "I'll...I'll tell him bud, but I'm not sure it'll work ok? He's still pretty shaken up,"

Peter nodded, leaning against Rhodey's shoulder as he heard Bruce's footsteps down the hall.

******

Four days later Peter was finally allowed out of the med bay, but May promptly ushered him into his bedroom as soon as they were back in the tower. He was furiously tapping at Rhodey's shoulder as they walked, the man barking out a laugh as he figured out the code.

"He's telling me he's sick of being in bed,"

"I'll remember that the next time I want you to get up early to help me do chores," May teased, and Peter rolled his eyes, stopping short in the hallway, his arms crossed. "Oh sweetie, I know this week has been hard on you, but you got to rest for just a little while longer alright? For me, ok baby?" she said softly, and Peter reluctantly let himself be led down the hallway and into bed.

And he tried to sleep, he really did, actually managing to get a few hours of shuteye before he woke up tossing and turning, a hollow feeling in his chest.

Taking deep breaths he blindly reached for his phone, curling into himself and scrolling through his Instagram feed to keep his thoughts at bay. Eventually he found himself on Youtube, looking up ASL videos before he had even consciously decided to go find Tony. Once he had the basics down of what he wanted to say, he ripped the covers off, padding softly down the hallway- praying not to alert May or Pepper, who he swore had hearing that could rival his own on occasion.

He crept down the stairs, nearly missing a step as he froze involuntarily at the sight of the thick metal covering the door, indicating lockdown protocol was still engaged in the lab.

"There is no cause for alarm Peter, Agent Romanoff assured me that Boss has returned to normal, and he instituted the lockdown protocol of his own accord," Friday's voice assured, and Peter tried taking some deep breaths. 

‘Can I go down?’ Peter typed on his tablet, and waited for Friday's response.

"I'm not exactly sure that's a good-"

‘Please Friday? I really miss him.’ Peter typed, looking up at the ceiling as if she could be swayed by his puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," Friday said, almost begrudgingly, and the metal reinforcements on the door slipped away. "Just be careful Peter,"

Choosing not to dwell too long on what she said, Peter hurried down the steps, and turned the corner, wincing at the sight of the crumpled doors to the elevator.

Rock music blared from the lab, Peter wincing at the volume even though he was out in the hallway. He gently punched in the password and pushed open the door, his hands immediately shooting up to cover his ears. 

"Friday- swear t' God if you let Rhodey in again-" Tony yelled, his words slurring ever so slightly. "What part of total lockdown don't you understand?"

Peter's eyes scanned over the empty liquor bottles littering the floor before finally landing on Tony, who was sitting on the floor against with his back to him, leaning heavily against the leg of Peter's lab bench, a half full bottle of scotch in his hand.

The teenager almost opened his mouth before he realized he couldn't talk, instead standing there awkwardly with his hands still over his ears. Suddenly the music shut off, and Peter let out a relieved exhale, the pounding in his head fading away.

"What th' hell Fri," Tony snapped, glaring up at the ceiling.

"It is not advisable to play loud music around patients recovering from a concussion, especially one with Peter's heightened senses," Friday replied, and Tony groaned.

"Fri- what're you-" he started, staggering to his feet and turning around, only to freeze in place.

Tony looked like he'd aged ten years, the lines on his face seeming more pronounced. The dark circles under his eyes were in sharp contrast to the paleness of his skin, and Peter could see dried tear tracks shining against his cheek. His gaze came to rest on Peter's neck, where the teenager knew black and blue marks lingered, still formed to the outline of the suit hand.

Tony’s face broke only for a moment, just barely suppressing a horrified shudder, devastation shining in his eyes. Peter took a step towards him, a hand outstretched, seeking the usual embrace from his father figure that he'd sorely missed over the past week. But Tony brushed him away, stumbling backwards to get out of reach, and Peter curled in on himself slightly as the scent of alcohol hit his nose rather than the usual comforting scent of the man's aftershave. 

Tony almost looked guilty before his eyes narrowed, and he assumed the pose Peter knew always preceded a lecture. "Out. Now," he demanded, and Peter shook his head, standing defiantly. "Peter- 'm not joking. Out. Now,"

'Are you ok?' Peter signed, and Tony looked at him, a crease in his eyebrow. 'Are you ok?' Peter tried again, still met with utter confusion.

"Kid, what're you doing?" Tony asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Peter is communicating with you through sign language," Friday cut in, and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah Fri- got that, why is he-" he started, halting suddenly as his face paled. "Don't tell me you can't- did I-?" He stuttered, eyes snapping to the teenager's neck, looking like he was about to be sick. Peter waved his hands frantically, shaking his head no as Tony leaned against the table for support.

'T.e.m.p.o.r.a.r.y' he signed out, Friday voicing the word, though it looked like it did little to ease Tony's conscience. 

"Peter- just leave, I mean it," the man pressed, barely able to look him in the eye.

'Why?' Peter mouthed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Why?" Tony echoed incredulously, disbelief on his face. "I can't- I can't be around you anymore Peter, don't you get that? I can't trust myself,"

'Not your fault' Peter signed, and Tony's eyes narrowed once again.

"If you die, that's on me kid- remember that? Jesus Christ Peter- I almost killed you!" Tony shouted, and Peter couldn't help the way he flinched backwards in fear.

Instantly all the anger drained from Tony's face, leaving him looking more tired and broken than before. He walked around the other side of the table, his steps unsteady, and took a swig out of the bottle still in his hand.

Peter didn't know what to say, his hands frozen in the air as a heavy silence fell over the room.

"Tones? Are you down here?" Rhodey's voice came from the steps, as Tony turned his back to Peter.

"Go back upstairs or 'm taking the suit," he said quietly, the liquor in the bottle sloshing as he brought it up to his lips once more.

Peter's face dropped, hurt settling heavy on his chest.

He said- he said he'd never-

Y.o.u.P.r.o.m.i.s.e.d.

He tapped on the table, and Tony took a shaky inhale.

"Just want you t' be safe kid," he said quietly, as Rhodey stepped tentatively into the room.

"Oh Jesus," he sighed, his eyes sweeping over the empty bottles scattered on the floor before stopping at the pair in the center of the room. "Tony-"

The man held up a hand, a defeated look in his eyes. "Take Peter back upstairs- now," he ordered, and the teenager finally allowed the tears to well up in his eyes.

"Oh kiddo," Rhodey said softly, as the tears started running down Peter's face, his gaze still fixed on Tony's back. "C'mon bud, let's go,"

Peter allowed himself to be led out of the lab, craning his head around to get one last look at Tony lifting up the bottle, the liquid inside quickly disappearing.

May stood at the top of the stairs, and Peter immediately lurched forward, practically collapsing in her arms, silent sobs shaking his body.

"Oh baby, I know, I know," she cooed, one hand cupping the back of his head. "It's ok sweetheart, let it out, it's gonna be ok, everything's gonna be ok,"

******

The next morning Tony woke up on the floor of the lab, a sharp ache in his back and a throbbing pain in his temples. He heaved himself to his feet, having to steady himself against the table, his stomach rolling at the movement. Once he was fairly confident he could stand- and not throw up in the process- Tony moved towards the cabinets at the back of the room, grabbing another bottle off the shelves and ripping the cap off. The liquid burned at his throat, but he could already feel it starting to dull the edges of his headache.

The echo of heels sounded down the hallway, and Tony sighed, closing his eyes and leaning heavily against the cabinet door.

"Don't you have some meetings t' go to Pep? Instead of hoverin' here all day?" He snapped, and the footsteps stopped.

"Cut the bullshit Tony," May's voice made his eyes snap open, and he almost recoiled at the fury in the woman's eyes.

"May? May I-"

"Save it," she bit back, taking in the state of the man in front of her. The fire in her eyes quelled somewhat as she took in the state of him, her shoulders falling as she gently crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Tony..." She sighed, and he looked at the floor, unable to hold her gaze any longer. "God Tony- why?"

"I almost killed my kid- think that's a pretty damn good reason to break sobriety," He spit back, punctuating his sentence with a drink.

"He cried himself to sleep last night," May said, the words hanging heavy in the room. Tony remained silent, any words dying on his lips as guilt seized his heart. "Remember when you came to the apartment after I walked in on Peter in the suit? And I said that as long as you do two things I would never raise an issue with Spiderman? One- never make him do this alone, and two- never make him come home crying again," A heavy silence fell over the room, and May knew she wasn't imagining the way Tony’s eyes started shining with tears. "He needs you Tony, he misses you," she said firmly, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"May- I almost took him from you, I- I can't," 

"Hey, listen to me, that wasn't you. That was some weapon made by the monsters that you go out and fight every day. I know you Tony- you'd rather die than intentionally lay a hand on Peter," May said strongly, her tone not leaving any space for doubt.

"You can still see the imprint of my hand around his neck-" Tony’s face blanched at the words, a slight tremble in his voice.

"Don't you think I know that? I was there Tony, I was there when Bruce was stitching up his wounds- I had to watch them restart my baby's heart, and God Tony, I hated it. I was terrified. But you know what I never thought, not even once? That it was your fault," A tear finally slipped down Tony's cheek, and May gently brushed it away. "I can't imagine what you're going through, but you need to stop blaming yourself. You didn't hurt Peter. The bastards that built that weapon did. Now, we’re going upstairs, Rhodey's going to dump whatever's in that cabinet down the drain, and you're gonna get your shit together and be there for our boy,"

Tony looked down at the bottle in his hands one more time before practically shoving it into May’s hands, looking away as he could hear her pour down into the sink. Standing rooted to the floor, he watched in silence as May left his side, picking up the stray bottles on the floor and putting them in a trash bag, the glass clinking as she dropped it by the doorframe.

"He calls you Dad," she said gently, walking back over to him.

"I know," he murmured, as she took him by the arm and led him out into the hall. "He said it before I- and it almost broke me out of it," They climbed the stairs in silence, Rhodey looking up in surprise as the pair stepped into the living room. "Are you sure he still wants me around?" 

May gave him a warm smile. "I’m sure,"

******

Three days later Peter was laying on his bed, the homework he had missed scattered on top of the sheets. There was a gentle knock at the door before it creaked open, but Peter barely looked, too focused on the notes Ned had dropped off earlier that afternoon.

"Just give me a sec ok May? I just want to get to the end of the chemistry worksheet, before dinner" he said, absentmindedly chewing on the end of the pencil.

"Hey Underoos," Peter whipped around at the voice, his eyes widening as he saw Tony hovering at the door frame. "Can I come in?" He asked tentatively, taking a few small steps into the room as Peter nodded. "I'm not taking the suit," Tony started, self hatred shining clear in his eyes. "I'd never- I promised you I'd never do that again and I...I was drunk, and god, I never should've let you see me like that in the first place but I-" his voice cracked as he raked a shaky hand through his hair. "Well, May already dressed me down earlier and uh- out of all the ways I fucked up over the past few days, this one was the only one she let me be on the hook for so, I'm sorry kiddo," Tony gestured awkwardly with his hand before letting them drop to his sides.

"Hey, language," Peter said softly, a smile pulling at his lips, and god, Tony was going to cry.

"Peter- kiddo- I'm so sorry," he said, eyes welling with tears, and Peter moved to the edge of the bed, arms reaching out for him. "Are you- are you sure?" Tony was barely resisting the urge to back away, too scared to get close.

No answer was needed- Peter nearly knocking Tony over with the force of how quickly he leapt forward. "Your aftershave is back," he observed happily, and Tony gave a wet chuckle, carding one hand through Peter's hair.

"I'm sorry kiddo, I'm so sorry I had to go and touch that stupid weapon-"

"It's not your fault- you didn't know what it was going to do," Peter said firmly. "I told you not to blame yourself, and I meant it,"

This seemed to open a whole separate floodgate of emotions, as Tony fell silent, his body trembling slightly.

"Why didn't you fight back kiddo?" He asked, voice wavering. "I know what you can do- you could've knocked me out- done anything to make sure that you stayed safe. Why did you just let me-" 

"I couldn't hurt you- I was scared, and- and my spider-sense was so loud- I was afraid I would hit you too hard- and-” Peter took a steadying breath. “And if I couldn't stop you I could at least try to make sure you were going to be ok,"

"Peter, if I had-" Tony stopped, the words getting caught in his throat. "If something happened to you, I'd never be ok- never," he said finally, his hand stilling in Peter's hair. "After- when you just went limp like that whatever was controlling me- thought it did its job I guess, because I came to and I- god Peter, I thought you were gone. I kept waiting for you to wake up and tell me you were only faking it- but...you just stayed there.” Tony’s shoulders stiffening at the memory. “I had to watch Sam give you CPR- I had to watch him restart your heart- knowing that I did that,"

"Hey, I'm right here ok? I'm fine, I promise," Peter assured, and Tony gave a shaky exhale, closing his eyes and resting his cheek on the crown of Peter's head.

"And you want to know what the worst part was? I could hear everything. Couldn't see it, not until the very end- but I heard you," Tony continued, and Peter instantly knew what he was talking about. "And I tried so hard to break through, cause there was no way- I couldn’t let myself hurt you," Once the tears started rolling down his cheeks he couldn't get them to stop, the product of two weeks worth of grief and regret. "I love you Peter, I love you so fucking much and I cant believe I almost didn't get a chance to tell you,"

"I love you too Dad, it's ok, I'm right here- I'm right here," Peter assured, squeezing Tony even tighter, a sob of his own escaping his lips.

They sat there until both their tears had dried, and Tony's hand had returned to gently twirling Peter’s curls "God-I almost missed this- I'm so sorry,"

"Keep apologizing and I'll tell May," Peter said, punctuating his words with a gentle poke on the arm, and Tony looked up, a fond smile on his face.

This kid.

"Wow- selling out your old man already huh?" he teased, making Peter giggle against his shoulder.

"I love you Dad,"

"I love you too, cuore mio,"

******

It was a week later before he was cleared by both May and Tony to go back on patrol, and the announcement was all he needed before he was scrambling to his room to put his suit on.

"We love you Peter! Be careful!" May called from the living room, standing behind Tony who was lounging on the couch, his tablet lying on his lap.

"Remember cucciolo, grey area!" The man added, a warm smile coming across his face as Peter giggled.

"Love you! See you guys later!" The teenager called as he ran towards the stairs that would take him up to the top of the building.

He pulled his mask on as soon as he hit the outside air, his eyes taking in the city skyline he hadn't seen in far too long.

"All right Karen, let's do this," he said, letting out a triumphant yell as he took a flying leap off the building, extending his arms and activating both his web-shooters, pointing them up at the building on the other side of the street. 

The buttons let out a hollow click, Peter’s eyes widening as no web-fluid rushed out- the wind continuing to whip around him as he fell.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you catch what went wrong with the web-shooters? (I really hope I made that clear lol) You can choose to interpret the end however you like: Tony could've deployed the Iron Spider, or Peter could've used his parachute, or...not, if you like the angst.
> 
> But I really hope you all liked the story! I have stories either written or laid out for the rest of the month, so stay tuned if you want to see those! 
> 
> Always feel free to come say hi on my tumblr if you want to! 
> 
> Have a good day everyone! :)


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